Drug of Choice

I don't know a whole lot about dealing with a drug addict - fortunately I've never had to. But I have a feeling that you don't pat their hand and say "there, there...I know this is hard. I won't take your drugs away from you; you just slowly get rid of them on your own time when you're ready." A hoarder is addicted to stuff. Why is it not ok to take it away from them, even slowly? Let them experience a little withdrawal. Why is the "treatment" for this addiction so catered to the addict's "feelings"? 

I've been reading a lot of other blogs by "COH" (Children of Hoarders), and I read a really powerful entry last night on http://www.hoardersson.com. It was an entry about COH "talking points," or points about how a child of a hoarder is affected by their parent's disorder, as a child, and long into adulthood. 

He writes: "As a final thought, children of hoarders sometimes are portrayed as being inappropriately angry, impatient, or otherwise unsupported of family members who are undergoing treatment for hoarding. Professionals, in particular, are reminded that many children of hoarders have suffered a lifetime of neglect and abuse and are desperately in need of support. In such cases, expecting COHs to be patient and respectful participants in the treatment of hoarders may be likened to expecting victims of sexual abuse to help their abusers to get treatment, without acknowledging the damage done to the victims, much less getting treatment and support for them."

I've read so much about forming a caring support team for your hoarding loved one. In Digging Out they even have a sample scenario where a hoarder's landlord patiently joins a "harm reduction team" aimed at making his tenant's crowded home easier for her to maneuver...YEAH RIGHT! Any landlord who knew their tenant was a hoarder would evict them - as they rightly should. All the info out there is about forgiving your hoarding loved one for past harm and gently doing things on their terms to make their life easier. Reading the quote above was a breath of fresh air. It was such a relief to read about hoarding "treatment" from the point of view of a COH.